i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
