dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i out mim tonsoeep
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