So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
