You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
