I looked at my own cervix.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
