They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
