Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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