his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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