I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
you never un-have a 4some
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
