Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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