You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
