Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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