im about as happy as oj after his trial
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
