at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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