Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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