i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
