Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
then he tried to convert me to islam
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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