what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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