Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
