I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
