Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
