i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
