he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
