Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
