Your dad touched me again.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
