This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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