Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
