You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
