C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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