you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
