I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
