We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
