Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This is the high leading the old right now
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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