My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
