After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
