he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
