hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Randomize
