In the future we'll all be gay
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
