You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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