your room smells of hookers.
And success
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
