He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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