im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
