If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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