Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
