some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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