evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
