awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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