I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
