When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
