Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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