okay pat passed out under dana's car
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
