areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
it was like having sex with a tree stump
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
